Dear Blank
by the good old days
Summary: A collection of letters to whomever the author pleases. -Humorous, perhaps unintentionally offensive, but mostly crack and OOC abounds. / Currently: Dear New Characters
1. Dear Authors

Dear authors,

Korra ships Makorra. Mako ships Borra. Bolin ships him/anyone-so-long-as-both-are-happy.

Tenzin ships TenzinPema. Pema, the same as her _husband_. Lin ships TenzinLin.

Jinora and Ikki are far too young to have a relationship with _anyone _from Team Avatar, much less any Equalists.

Let's try to get it right for once, yes?

Sincerely, the characters

* * *

**Note: **I simply couldn't resist this. Excuse any bashing of anyone on my part. Not meant to be offensive.


	2. Dear Writers

Dear writers,

I like Mako. Not Bolin. Not Tahno. Not Amon. Not Tenzin. Not Meelo (no matter how cute and adorable he is). Nor any other person you can think of from this fandom.

I like Mako. (Even if there's a distinct possibility that he doesn't like me back.)

Sincerely, Asami Sato

* * *

**Note: **Thanks all for the reviews.


	3. Dear Fangirls

Dear fangirls,

Stop trying to make me overly handsome or exaggeratedly beautiful.

I told you that blasted Firebender stole my face!

Sincerely, doesn't mean I'm ugly though

* * *

**Note: **Reviews = Love + Korra going into the Avatar State


	4. Dear Bryke

Dear Michael and Brian,

Stop letting fans make me out to be a whore!

This is canon: MakoKorra, questionable BolinKorra.

This (yes, all of it) is not: AmonKorra, TenzinKorra, TahnoKorra, TarrlokKorra, HowlKorra, YueKorra, LinKorra, PemaKorra, MeeloKorra, AsamiKorra, LTKorra, or anything else not mentioned.

Kapeesh?

Forever yours, (no, really, you wrote me) Korra


	5. Dear Fandom

Dear Fandom,

What should we do while we wait for Season Two?

Sincerely, think about our place in the universe maybe

* * *

**Note: **I am overjoyed by the positive responses.


	6. Dear Imbeciles

Dear imbeciles,

If I find one more corny, crappy joke about my name, some shit is going down.

Sincerely, I DON'T EVEN DO JOKES

* * *

**Note: **In honor of Steve Blum's appearance at that one anime convention, where I saw his jokes on YouTube.


	7. Dear Ships

Dear ships,

WE HAVE OUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING LOGO, BITCHES.

Sincerely, SS Borra

* * *

**Note: **Happy Fourth. I don't ship this but congrats to all who do for getting your own logo. #ShipEnvy


	8. Dear Angst Loving Authors

Dear romantically-angst-loving authors,

Yes. I'm not over Tenzin.

Now stop writing in it before I throw you all in jail.

Sincerely, I may not be Chief but I'm still badass

* * *

**Note: **Hmm. I'm hungry.


	9. Dear Anyone Willing To Listen

Dear anyone willing to listen,

I've seen some crazy shit in my life.

-Not just a one trick poodle pony

* * *

**Note: **LoK SEASON ONE WITH COMMENTARY FROM BRYKE. I THINK YES.


	10. Dear Everyone

Dear everyone,

I'm not dead. Unless, that is, I _am _dead. You see, it was very unclear.

Sincerely, I'm a walking contradiction motherfuckers!

* * *

**Note: **Guys. DirecTV has no more Nick. This better change before 2013.


	11. Dear Unable To Write

Dear unable to write anything on your own,

Re-making the episodes in your own words—and by your own point of view—does not make you more creative. Neither does changing any events. (Okay, maybe a little...)

Spirits.

IT HAPPENED ALREADY. YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT SO STOP TRYING TO.

Ahem.

From, just trying to help honest

* * *

**Note: **I don't even know...


	12. Dear Hiroshi

Dear Hiroshi,

Join the club, man!

Sincerely, Ozai and Yakone

P.S: Otherwise known as _The Worst Fathers In The History Of The World_

* * *

**Note: **Seems legit?


	13. Dear Tarrlok

Dear Tarrlok,

We are pleased to inform Mister Tarrlok, son of the bloodbender Yakone, that you have been accepted into the "Not-As-Much-Of-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been". Our organization has been proudly promoting excellence and good will since the dawn of time. Recent, historical figures who have been deemed worthy of having their honor restored include: Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Lady Mai, and Ty Lee of the Fire Nation. We hope that you will join us in our ranks; it would be a pleasure to help promote your achievements.

We ask that you please accept this pin as a symbol of your achievements.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Proudly Reversing Jerks Since The Dawn Of Time

_Not-As-Much-Of-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been_

* * *

**Note: **Just because.


	14. Dear Users Unable To Spell Tarrlok

Dear users unable to spell,

My name is spelled "Tarrlok". T-A-R-R-L-O-K.

Not Tarlokk. Not Tarlook.

Also, upercase it.

From, just spell it right this time, please

* * *

**Note: **My foot is falling asleep. Yipee.


	15. Dear Mindless Morons

Dear mindless morons,

Stop using ME to fulfill YOUR dreams with MY love interest.

I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU.

...Have you not heard of this thing called, um, in character? Let's try that for a change.

From, umm EVERYONE

* * *

**Note: **I'm hungry...


	16. Dear Gay Rights

Dear gay rights,

Sorry. I wasn't promoting equality because Lieutenant is my...lover, despite all evidence to the contrary. I felt the need to put that rumor to rest.

Sincerely, Amon

* * *

**Note: **Inspired by tumblr. Anyone familiar?


	17. Dear Tarrlok2

Dear Tarrlok,

YOU JUST HAD TO BLOW UP THAT MOTHERFUCKING BOAT DIDN'T YOU?! TAKE A NUMBER, BUDDY. REALLY.

I HAD A BONE TO PICK WITH AMON.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE BROTHERS. TAKE A NUMBERRRR.

From, a very angry Lieutenant who is still feeling a little betrayed

* * *

**Note: **I could seriously see this happening. Except. Not like this.


	18. Dear Bolin

Dear Bolin,

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry I kissed Korra for you to believe it?

Sincerely,

You're stuck with me for life might as well forgive me now

* * *

**Note: **Because Mako can really be a jerkface sometimes.


	19. Dear Whoever Wrote Every Script

Dear whoever wrote every script ever,

Is this because...I don't know...our eye color...or something?!

{We mean "this" as in our supposed "failure in romantic relationships", naturally.}

From, us with the green eyes

P.S: if you needed a list - Bolin, Asami, Lin.

* * *

**Note: **This was pointed out on several occasions, I think.


	20. Dear Korra Fandom

Dear Korra fandom,

Seriously. You guys need more crack!ships. Like, seriously. We're not joking.

We get that you love Makorra and Borra and stuff. But don't be so bland. Seriously.

Crack!ships all the way. Show us that you know how to have fun.

Suggestively, fellow fandoms

P.S: Oh, and grammar. That's good, too. But mostly fun pairings.

* * *

**Note: **Really. . . All my other fandoms are fun . . . Different pairings errywhere . . .


	21. Dear Shippers

Dear Shippers,

Do you ship me with...anyone? Anyone at all? My late wife wouldn't mind. Honest.

Not-So Sincerely, Hiroshi Sato

P.S.: I can be a good lover, too?

* * *

**Note: **That awkward moment when I realize Pema has green eyes. So my "green eyes" letter sort of is ruined.


	22. Dear Bryke2

Dear Bryke,

You cannot say that you didn't imply something! Because "I dedicated my life to you!" seriously implied something!

Sincerely, SS Lieumon

P.S.: Not that you were denying anything, but still.

* * *

**Note: ***promotes*


	23. Dear Plots

Dear Plots,

While the whole high school alternate universe thing is quite interesting, it's getting a bit overdone. Please come up with something else, yes?

Sincerely, you could always get stuck in an arena where you have to kill each other

P.S.: Or a supernatural world with vampires and werewolves.

P.P.S.: Or Greek gods.

P.P.P.S.: Or kids with wings and a world ending.

P.P.P.P.S.: Or you could do an AU with no relation to book series whatsoever...cough.

* * *

**Note: **Ahem. I am very cold.


	24. Dear Past Avatars

Dear Past Avatars,

It would have been nice if I got my airbending faster.

Not that I'm complaining, or anything.

It just would have been nice.

Sincerely, current Avatar

P.S.: What's this I hear about a new villain? I just got rid of the old one!

P.P.S.: There is also a rumor about me visiting Yakone's sons while I'm in the spirit world . . . Will someone please take care of that before I get there? Being dead, I feel it's only fair.

* * *

**Note: **My friend is here. Yipee.


	25. Dear Writers2

Dear Writers,

I think I have enough sense not to get knocked up by the first person who wants some, thank you very much.

From, that repressed girls rumor means nothing

* * *

**Note: **Welp. Self-explanatory.


	26. Dear Helpless Romantics

Dear Helpless Romantics,

**I would not leave my loving, faithful, beautiful wife—with whom I have four wonderful children, mind you—for a woman who has refused to speak to me outside of work in ten years.**

_Likewise, I am not a mewling weakling without the man I once thought I would spend forever with._

Sincerely, **Married** and _Doesn't Need A Man_

* * *

**Note: **Two in a night because school tomorrow.


	27. Dear Ikki

Dear Ikki,

We hate you (just a little bit).

From, we wanted to know what happened to Ursa without reading the comic

* * *

**Note: **Quick post because life.


	28. Dear Serious Shippers

Dear Serious Shippers,

Seriously?! A whole motherfucking month dedicated to my OTP?! I have no problem with it, really, but I can only write spur-of-the-moment things...

From, I guess I'll just read everyone else's fantastic submissions

* * *

**Note: **Seriously. This is me.


	29. Dear Fics Where Tahno Loses His Bending

Dear fics where Tahno loses his bending,

Um. That already happened.

Sincerely, rewatch the shows maybe?

* * *

**Note: **I have noticed a surplus of these.


	30. Dear Useless Excuses For Writers

Dear useless excuses for writers,

I. Am. Not. An. Equalist.

-the Avatar not anything else

P.S.: And also the Avatar's boyfriend.

P.P.S.: And Asami is here, too.

* * *

**Note: **I like canon sometimes. Coughnotreally. Also, grounded but doesn't give AF.


	31. Dear People Who Came Up With Pairings

Dear People Who Come Up With Pairings,

**Um. Look. I don't like Jinora.**

_Yeah! He doesn't! And I don't like him! He always smells funny!_

**Hey!**

_What? You do!_

**So?! You don't have to go telling people!**

_Um. I just did, genius._

**You're unbelievable!**

_At least I'm reliable! _

**Ugh!**

Sincerely, _Jinora_ and **Skoochy**

P.S.: **Why does her name get to go first?**

P.P.S.: _Maybe because I'm a girl!_

P.P.P.S.: **Guys, don't be loudmouths! I only tolerate her, okay?!**

* * *

**Note: **Name change cough.


	32. To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern,

If, by folly, Avatar Korra was, in fact, my lover, then I doubt she would be so unscrupulously blatant as to ignore her friends and arouse suspicion. Furthermore, she is a far better liar than she would have you believe.

With regards, Amon

* * *

**Note: **To my beautiful shipmates aboard the SS Amorra.


	33. Dear Archive

Dear Archive,

Oh my fuck. Correct grammar, puh-lease.

From, grammar nazis everywhere

* * *

**Note: **Quick update gaah. WHY WILL MY LINE BREAK NOT APPEAR


	34. Dear Readers

Dear Readers,

Dowcorivkejvlaneldcj.

To address the topic of Amon being dead.

I refuse to believe it. I refuse. The man is a BAMF and therefore is eternal in life. Furthermore, Bryke stated at a ComicCon that they were "sorry for blowing up the boat", and did not explicitly state they killed off the characters.

Also, I can dream.

And also "an idea never dies".

And to keep on going HE IS A BADASS WHO IS ALIVE.

Yours, The Author

* * *

**Note: **asdfghjkl; i forgot about this story omfg i'm terrible


	35. Dear Tenzin

Dear Tenzin,

How do you feel about your eldest daughter having a certain attraction to the Fire Nation's General Iroh?

Wonderingly, the whole of Republic City News

* * *

**Note: **i just read a fic with a iroh/jinora pairing and it is _glorious_


	36. Dear Book Two

Not-So Dear Book Two,

Um, still being oppressed over here. Little help? No? Fuck you.

You suck. Thanks for nothing.

-Nonbenders

* * *

**Note: **because everyone is worried this topic will be ignored in book two because hello spirit world


	37. Dear FF Writers

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Obviously that OC is you.

Sincerely, we all know it's true

* * *

**Note: **in which i am full of stupid and don't know how to update anything


	38. Dear New Characters

Dear New Characters,

Beware shippers. They will ship you romantically with  
basically anything that breathes.

Sincerely, Those With Experience

* * *

**Note: **in which i try to update non-sporadically and fail so terribly that it hurts me to breathe


End file.
